{"title":"Dammit Dolls","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"title-wrapper text-align--center text-align-mobile--center\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-content\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-content-description rte\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreaky little stress relievers with voodoo charm. Built to be beaten, hugged, or hurled. Cheaper than therapy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-pickleball-doll","title":"The Pickleball Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhether you're a seasoned pickleball champ or just got peer-pressured into a league by your neighbor Karen, one truth unites us all: some games end in glory—others in rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnter the Pickleball Dammit Doll, your new court-side coping mechanism. Designed for players who take their dinks personally and their unforced errors emotionally, this hilarious stress relief doll captures both sides of the game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe front features a pristine pickleball court, complete with bright balls, a hopeful paddle, and that sweet, sweet illusion that this is going to be your match. Flip it over, and reality sets in. The back is pure pickleball carnage: crushed balls, a snapped paddle, spilled water bottles, and one poor visor that clearly met its end mid-rally. There’s even graffiti in the non-volley zone that screams what your partner should’ve heard: “STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSewn into the back is a special pickleball-themed version of the classic Dammit Doll poem, tailored for when your serve barely clears the net and the other team keeps dropping perfect dinks like it’s a conspiracy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060061679837,"sku":"DDL000742U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/DD-Pickleball-Doll-01.jpg?v=1782033325"},{"product_id":"mailman-squeaky-chew-toy","title":"Mailman Squeaky Chew Toy","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen will this guy learn? Every day he comes up to YOUR porch, you bark, give him the business, and he turns tail and runs, right? But then he comes back! Every! Day!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTeach the mailman a lesson with the Dammit Dog Mailman toy! This hilarious toy features a tough reinforced stitch and an irresistible squeaker inside. Perfect for light to medium chewers looking to send a little message of their own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHandmade\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15\" tall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDurable ballistic nylon piping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGet one for your dog and, let's be honest, one for you too\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060061941981,"sku":"DDL000611A","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/DD-Dog-Toy-Mailman.jpg?v=1782033333"},{"product_id":"taxman-squeaky-chew-toy","title":"Taxman Squeaky Chew Toy","description":"\u003cp\u003eTake a bite out of taxes with the Dammit Dog Taxman toy! This hilarious toy features a tough reinforced stitch and an irresistible squeaker inside. Perfect for light to medium chewers looking to give a little back to the tax man!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHandmade.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15\" tall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDurable ballistic nylon piping.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGet one for your dog and, let's be honest, one for you too.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060061974749,"sku":"DDL000609U","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/DD-Dog-Toy-Taxman.jpg?v=1782033331"},{"product_id":"the-golf-doll","title":"The Golf Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou started the round with hope. A fresh glove, new balls, a swing you “fixed last week.” But by hole 7? You're mentally tossing your 9-iron in the nearest pond. That’s where the Golf Dammit Doll comes in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis stress relief doll is designed for golfers who live for the game, but occasionally (okay, often) want to scream into their golf bag. The front side shows a peaceful green fairway, complete with golf balls, a tidy hole, and a hopeful flag waving in the breeze. The back? Pure carnage. Broken clubs. Crumpled scorecards. Emotional debris.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also features a golf-themed spin on the classic Dammit Doll poem, stitched right on the front for dramatic readings after your third mulligan. Think of it as emotional first aid for anyone who's ever shouted “fore!” and secretly meant it as a cry for help.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060062007517,"sku":"DDL000741U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/DD-Golf-Doll-01.jpg?v=1782033331"},{"product_id":"the-junk-food-doll","title":"The Junk Food Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eFrench fries, burgers, and pizza oh my! I'm on a diet, DAMMIT!\u003cbr\u003eWhen the junk food is tempting, here's a doll to get you by.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060062040285,"sku":"DDL000011A","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/Diet-Doll-Alt_01.jpg?v=1782033331"},{"product_id":"the-irs-auditor-doll","title":"The IRS Auditor Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen tax season has you tearing your hair out, meet your new favorite deductible: the Dammit Doll IRS Auditor. Dressed in stiff business casual and serious glasses, this stress relief toy is ready to absorb every audit-induced scream, squeeze, and slam. Whack it, smack it, or toss it across the room... Just don't itemize your rage! Because when life gives you an audit, give it a dammit!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060062073053,"sku":"DDL000726U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/IRS-Auditor-Alt_01.jpg?v=1782033331"},{"product_id":"the-jackson-doll","title":"The Jackson Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eUnleash your inner artist -- and your inner rage -- with the Jackson Pollock-inspired Dammit Doll. This bold, expressive version of the classic Dammit Doll is covered in wild, colorful paint splatters that echo the raw energy of abstract expressionism. Every smack, slam, or squeeze is a tiny rebellion against stress, made even more satisfying by the doll's chaotic design that feels like it was born in the middle of a paint-slinging tantrum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're an art lover, a gallery goer, or just someone who appreciates a little color in their coping mechanisms, this doll delivers both aesthetic appeal and therapeutic impact. It's a great gift for creatives, critics, or coworkers having a brush with burnout. Equal parts functional and fabulous, this freaky guy is ready to be your outlet in a world that doesn't always stay inside the lines.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48060062105821,"sku":"DDL000728U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/files\/Artist-Jackson_Alt_01.jpg?v=1782033331"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0789\/4342\/0637\/collections\/IRS-Auditor-Alt_01.jpg?v=1782033414","url":"https:\/\/masaverse.com\/collections\/dammit-dolls.oembed","provider":"Masaverse","version":"1.0","type":"link"}